Tuesday, January 26, 2010

3000 miles

I pulled into the driveway after stopping at 711 for a slurpee on my way home from school. As I got out of my unkempt car and started for the side door, I noticed dad’s truck was in the garage. Hmm, maybe he got out early, I thought. I walked in to the kitchen and dropped my bag on the counter; dad, looking quite lethargic, was on the phone in the dining room with piles of papers in front of him. I stood there for a few minutes waiting for him to get off the phone, when my cell phone started vibrating in my pocket. I grabbed my phone and slid it open; the screen read “NEW MESSAGE”. I opened the text and who else would it be but my paragon of a boyfriend, Shawn. Hey Nae How was your day? Wanna go to the boy’s basketball game tonight? Let me know! I clicked reply and quickly typed I’d love to Hun, pick me up around 3 and we can grab something to eat?


Shawn was knocking on the door right at three, and of course, I wasn’t ready yet. He came in and talked with my little brother while I finished getting ready. Fifteen minutes later, I came down the stairs and saw Shawn sitting there, looking even better than he looked fifteen minutes ago when I let him in the door. He got up off the couch and came over and gave me a kiss. I grabbed my jacket and we headed out to the car. Shawn, being the gentleman he is, opened my door for me and helped me in the truck, and then got in on his side. He put the keys in the ignition and started up his old beat up truck as I slid over closer to him so he could put his arm around me. “So babe, where do you wanna go to eat?” and as cliché as it might be, I always loved when he called me that,

“I was thinking Dairy Queen, but wherever, it doesn’t really matter to me.” I answered. He turned on the radio to my favorite station, 97.8, and we sang along to country music until we arrived at Dairy Queen.

We pulled into the almost empty parking lot and parked next to the giant ice cream cup. I hopped out of the truck and headed for the door that he was already holding open for me. Once inside, we ordered our food from some grouchy old woman behind the counter. While Shawn waited for our food I went and found us a table to sit at. I took my phone from my bag, to check if I had any new texts, and it read “3 MISSED ALERTS” one was a text from “Mom”, the others were calls from “Home”. As I went to go open the text, Shawn called out for me to help him with the food; I threw my phone back into my bag and went and grabbed the drinks from the counter. We ate our food and talked and laughed; it was a good thing we were the only people in there because we were being really obnoxious, which is the way we always are when we’re together. As I walked to the trash, the same crabby lady gave me a dirty look and after that we got out of there as fast as we could.

After dinner we made our way to the high school for the basketball game. The front lot was packed with cars, so Shawn drove around to the back lot to find a parking spot. As we drove around to the back, I remembered the text from my mom so I found my phone and opened the “NEW MESSAGE” it read Nicole Rae, you need to come home right now, we need to talk. Crazy thoughts begin to rush through my mind, about what this could possibly be. As I sat there laconicly and I began to cry, Shawn asked “What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

I shook my head and said “I need to be brought home.”

Shawn of course did what I said and brought me home. As we drove him he tried to talk to me but I wouldn’t answer; I couldn’t talk. When we arrived to my house I looked at him with red, swollen eyes, he grabbed my hand and said “Please call me as soon as you can. I love you.” I hugged him and began to cry again, he held me for a few minutes trying to quell me. I kissed Shawn on the cheek and got out of the truck, as I headed up the drive way to the door I wiped my face and tried to regain my composure.

I walked in and immediately went to find my mother. She was in her room, philegmaticly emptying her closet.
“What are you doing?” I asked in an annoyed, confused and scared tone.

“Honey, sit down,” she said, trying to hedge me.

“No mom! Just tell me! What is it?!”

“Well, your father was offered a promotion, but it involves moving…to Seattle.”

I was in rebuttal, “Seattle, Washington?! Are you kidding me?! You can’t take me out of the school I’ve been going to my whole life, my sophomore year! And what about my friends here and what about Shawn?! You expect me to bequeth all of that?! This is freakin’ ridiculous!” I stormed out of the room and into my room slamming the door behind me. At that point I was doleful and couldn’t stop crying enough to call him so I texted him, I’m coming over. I grabbed my keys, flew down the stairs, and went and got in my car. I sat there for a minute, letting the bad news soak in. Finally, I put the keys in and started it up.

I got to Shawn’s red, wizened farmhouse; he was outside sitting on the front porch waiting for me to get there so he could mallify me, and when I saw him out there, I lost it. I began crying so hard I could barely breathe. He came over to my car and got in the passenger seat. He said “What’s wrong babe?”

“I…” I couldn’t answer.

“It’s okay, just take a deep breath.”

“I’m moving! Moving to Seattle! That’s 3000 miles away from here!” he was in shock, he grabbed me and held me tight. We sat in the car for a good 20 minutes before either one of us said anything.

Finally he whispered in my ear “No matter where you are Nae, whether it be Seattle, the moon or right here in my arms, I’ll always love you.”

I’m a senior now at Shorecrest high school, here in Seattle, Washington. Shawn and I just celebrated our four year anniversary, this past October. After the move, we were both songuine that we could make our long distance relationship work, and we did. He’s coming out to visit me this December during Christmas vacation and we are going to spend the holidays together. I'm elated to see him. We talk to eachother daily, whether it be through a text or on the phone or through our webcams. That cold day in February was probably one of the worst days of my life, but in a way, I’m thankful that all of this happened because it has made mine and Shawn’s relationship so much stronger.

3 comments:

  1. The conflict of this story is that Nae is moving to Seattle with her family and she has to leave everything behind, including her boyfriend, Shawn. It was resolved by them staying together even though they were so far apart. I thought that it was dramatic enough. The characters change because they have to learn to have a long distance relationship and how to be apart for long periods of time.

    My favorite part of the story was when Nae wasvery upset about the bad news and Shawn was comforting her.
    "“I’m moving! Moving to Seattle! That’s 3000 miles away from here!” he was in shock, he grabbed me and held me tight. We sat in the car for a good 20 minutes before either one of us said anything.
    Finally he whispered in my ear “No matter where you are Nae, whether it be Seattle, the moon or right here in my arms, I’ll always love you.”"

    I think the story's best quality is the dialogue because it is really realistic and makes the story more interesting. The story's theme is that true love will always last, even 3000 miles apart. There is not much that needs to be done. There are a couple spelling/grammar mistakes and to just put your vocab. words in, but otherwise great job!

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  2. I. The conflict of the story is that Nae is moving to Seattle, leaving her friends, school, and most importantly, her beloved boyfriend Shawn. I think this conflict is man vs circumstance. I was very invested in the resolution of the conlict. I really cared about the characters, because their feelings were such an important part of the story. I think it was very dramatic, and there is no need to make it more dramatic.

    II. Both of the characters change by the end of the story, because they realize that they have to adapt to what happens to them, and realize how much they love eachother, so they can continue with their relationship even being 3000 miles apart.

    III. My favorite part of the story was when Shawn says his line about where ever they are, he will always love her. I thought this was adorable, and made the story so much better. I loved it :)

    IV. I think that the stories best quality were the characters. I think that they were well developed, and we knew a lot about them and their feelings. This really engages the reader, and makes them care about what happens.

    V. The stories theme is that true love - if it is really trueee love- will last no matter what. I think that this story showed it really well, and the dialogue made really added to it.

    VI. I think that you could introduce the conflict a little a little sooner. I feel like you have a really long exposition before the conflict is introduced. There are also a couple of grammer mistakes so just make sure you go back and check it. nice story I loved ittt :)

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  3. 1. unkempt
    2. cliche
    3. elated
    4. songuine
    5. philegmatic
    6. hedge
    7. quell
    8. lethargic
    9. laconic
    10. paragon
    11. doleful
    12. bequeth
    13. mallify
    14. rebuttal
    15. wizened

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