How I Live Now, Daisy
Briar Rose, Becca
The airport from How I Live Now
It was a hot July afternoon; Daisy sat watching planes take off and land, waiting for her plane to arrive. As she was watching the planes her mind was drifting off, back to when she was in England, but before the war took place. Back when she and Edmond had their secret love affair; back when everything seemed so right.
“Is this seat taken?” asked a petite young woman with bright red hair, carrying a large wooden box with a briar rose carved into it.
Somewhat startled, Daisy came back to real life and said, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Already sitting in the chair beside her she laughed and repeated herself, “Is this seat taken?” Daisy grinned and introduced herself, “I’m Daisy, and who are you?”
“I’m Becca, it’s nice to meet you,” she replied.
Becca had taken some documents out of the wooden box; Daisy broke the silence and said, “Where will you be heading today?”
Without looking up from her papers, Becca answered, “Poland…” she raised her head after a moment, “for business, I’m a reporter for a local paper.”
“Oh, what are you researching?” questioned Daisy. Before Becca could answer, an announcement was made that there would be no planes landing for the next three hours because of a big storm.
Becca answered, “Well I was going to say ‘it’s a long story’ but it looks like we have some time to spare.”
Before she started her story, Daisy and her new friend decided to go find somewhere in the airport that had coffee. They walked around for a good 15 minutes before finally coming to a Dunkin Donuts; they both ordered and had a seat at one of the small, round tables.
“So care to share this ‘long’ story?” Daisy asked.
“Sure,” Becca responded. “My grandmother recently passed away…”
“I’m so sorry!” Daisy interrupted.
“Thanks; but anyways, no one ever really knew anything about my Gemma’s past. Before she passed she told me to figure her history out. And all she’s left me with is her tale of Briar Rose and this box of pictures and papers. This is what is bringing me to Poland.”
“Oh, and you’re going to be writing an article on what you find out?” Daisy asked.
“Correct!” said Becca.
“Well, that wasn’t a long story at all!” Daisy laughed.
“That was the much shorter version,” she explained.
The women made small talk after that and finished their coffees, then walked back to their seats in the terminal.
On the way, Becca asked, “Well now that you know where I’m going and why; where are you going and why?”
“England, just to visit some old friends…” Daisy told her.
“Oh, well I hope you have fun!” Becca said.
“Yea, I can’t wait to see him…” she slipped.
“A him?” Becca caught on.
“Just a friend.” Daisy lied.
They returned to their seats and Becca showed Daisy the pictures and all the papers she had from Gemma. Daisy was giving Becca her thoughts on the pictures when another announcement was made, ‘The 3:30 flight to Poland has arrived, please board as soon as possible.’ Becca smiled and said
“That’s me!” she got her things together and quickly exchanged email addresses with Daisy and then headed off to catch her flight.
A couple months later, after Daisy returned from England, she received an email from an unknown address, she opened it and it was an article…Becca’s article. She found a lot of things out about her grandmother, and she seemed quite pleased with her findings. Daisy was very glad that Becca emailed her the article. She replied to it immediately, and they talk all the time. They have been very good friends since then.
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I thought story was well thought out; I liked it! The image that stands out to me is Becca and Daisy sitting at a Dunkin' Donuts table in the airport talking. The idea in my head is finding friends in odd places. It makes me think about being open to things like that.
ReplyDeleteThe conversation between the two characters definitely seemed authentic. Specifically: “Is this seat taken?” asked a petite young woman with bright red hair, carrying a large wooden box with a briar rose carved into it.
Somewhat startled, Daisy came back to real life and said, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” This seems believable because this type of thing happens at the airport everyday. Someone asks to sit next to a stranger because that's the only empty seat. They may not become friends like Becca and Daisy, but they talk to each other.
My favorite part of the story is when Becca shows Daisy the pictures of Gemma after she's told her the story. "They returned to their seats and Becca showed Daisy the pictures and all the papers she had from Gemma. Daisy was giving Becca her thoughts on the pictures..." I think it marks like the beginning of their relationship. First they were just strangers sitting next to each other, then they were two people having coffee and chatting, and now their friends looking at pictures.
The only thing distracting for me was that there was a lot of dialogue. That's not even a bad thing, but there's just a lot of dialogue in the middle. Other than that it was really good.
For future writing assignments, I would just say to watch out for the dialogue. Your story was great HF!
I. I thought this was a VERYYYYY good story. I liked the image I had in my head when you had them at Dunkin Donuts. I thought it was very cute, and fit the characters very well. This story reminds me of being in an airport, because you explained the setting very well.
ReplyDeleteII. I thought your dialogue was good. It was very realistic and down to earth just like the characters. The was you put your dialogue was also very well thought out.
III. My favorite part was the ending. I thought this was a very creative ending, and you wrote it very well. "She found a lot of things out about her grandmother, and she seemed quite pleased with her findings. Daisy was very glad that Becca emailed her the article." I really liked this and I thought it was very cute, and showed the friendship in the story that you created.
IV. I didnt really find anything wrong with your story. I thought it was well written and thought out. You incorperated both of the stories and characters very well.
V. In the future I think you should give your stories just as much personality and dialogue as you did this story. I had a very good image in my head of the setting because of this, and it was very entertaining.
GREATTTTTT JOBBBBB HANNNAHHHHHHHHH :)
I really liked this story. I haven’t read either of these books, but yet I found the essay really understandable and interesting. You made me want to read the books! I could clearly see Becca and Daisy sitting in Dunkin Donuts just chatting it up as if they were old friends. I liked how the story flowed together and even though there wasn’t overly specific descriptions of the character I like how you slipped descriptions in how they talked in the dialogue and in small places around the essay.
ReplyDeleteThe dialogue seemed believable. It seemed a little sketchy at first how two complete strangers started talking to each other, but the conversation flowed very well and it seemed like they were old friends. It was kinda cool how friendly small talk bloomed into an interesting friendship. Both characters seemed very likeable and the dialogue was very well suited for the situation.
“As she was watching the planes her mind was drifting off, back to when she was in England, but before the war took place. Back when she and Edmond had their secret love affair; back when everything seemed so right.” I really liked this line from the story. You didn’t say something like “she was thinking about her old boyfriend from last year”. The way you described the situation by with your interesting vocabulary was very interesting and a good start to the essay. It made me want to read on.
Even though you planned it out and explained everything well, it still seems a little strange that two strangers started telling each other their life stories. But, it is possible, and the way you described it made it sound as believable as possible. There wasn’t as much description of the environment as other people had in their essay, but there was still a good amount. Also, I’m not sure where the story took place exactly like what time frame or what country the airport was in.
In the future maybe just a little bit more description of the setting would be nice. But, the way you wrote it was still enough information for me to understand what’s going on. There was a lot of dialogue, but it was appropriate for the storyline. I’m not sure what else to say, since I think other than that your story was really good.
continuedddd.
ReplyDeleteI. Also, the thing I like best about your story is that you used so much dialogue. This really shows your charaters' personalities, and describes them. It also combines the two books you read into one story really well.
II. Specifically, what made you dialogue so good was how you explained it. Instead of just saying ," he said or ,"she said, you had descriptive explanations like “Yea, I can’t wait to see him…” she slipped.
“A him?” Becca caught on.
I think this definatly added on to your dialogue.
III. This ending made your story complete, and really finished defining your characters. It also concluded your story very well.
IV. One thing I did find distracting, though, was how you didnt seperate your dialogue. You started them on different lines which was good, but you didn't indent or skip any lines to really divide it. This isn't really important, but I think it would make your story a lot better.
V. Like I said before just try to seperate your dialogue a little more, but other than that... GREAT JOBBBBB.